restrained.

No other words to describe it other than dark grey clouds, strangling, but without conviction, no reason. There's no other colour, just grey and white, and there's no escape - no amount of therapy even comes close. Your whole body aches, and baggy clothing seems to always satisfy. Its amazing when sleep swaddles you in a warm cocoon, and your eye lids drop shut letting your subconscious take over, and carry you away into a much prefered world, and comfort, contentment and ease overwhelms you, how much you can actually sleep without doing much else with the day.

ok so, today was boring. mum ripped me out of bed (literally, by the legs) at the crack of dawn (10.30am) to go for a jog. what an epic disaster. it was only 3 miles, but i walked about a third of the way. considering i used to be able to fully RUN a 5 mile circuit at the height of my fitness in summer, thats shite.

I then got home, had a bowl of porridge. forgetting i had used honey oats instead of the plain ones, i put in wayyy to much treacle, and made myself feel quite nauseous.

So then i watched interview with the vampire with mum (feeding my new interest). i realised how similar it is to twilight, and im now considering where stephanie meyer's inspiration came from, and that her claims to have 'never seen a vampire movie before writing twilight' maybe untrue. EG:

1. Lestat and Edward Cullen's similarity in both being able to read thoughts.
2. Louis' and the Cullen's similarity in being opposed to killing humans to survive.
3. In both stories somewhere along the line, we end up in Europe, and crossing the paths of the 'Vampire King' (for all intents and perposes anyway). IWTV's 'Armand', Twilight's 'Aro' of the Volturi.
4. When Gloria turns to Louis to 'make' her a new companion, its kind of like when Bella asks Carlisle to 'turn' her to be edward's immortal mate.
5. Aaaaand in both stories, you can only kill a vampire by burning him. (:

END OF GEEK SESSION (Y)

anyway, i then started 'Eclipse', and realised that the language is slightly different to the other books in the series and decided to put it aside for another day when i wasnt feeling as tired. had a nap, then went to work. i was late. and my boss knew it.

ERRRM then went home, devoured a box of chocolates with the mother, had a cuddle with dad, had a scrap with alfie the mad golden retreiver.

Today DID however, give me some useful (finally) completed decisions. i will not be partaking in any upcoming hunt for a new boyfriend. not until i have left college and gone to university (YES vicks, we will be going to london mark my words. probably with Laurence in tow. maybe Cain lagging a few days behind).

yes, amy bland had finally realised that it brings nothing but pointless hopefullness, more pain, and tears. im going to look up, all the time, so that when my prince charming does come along, i wont see him coming, and i'll be caught off gaurd, and he'll like me because im ditzy, playful, thoughtful, ridiculously head-in-the-clouds me.

i am actually, funnily enough looking forward to new year, despite the lack of a place to sleep. im looking forward to going to see the panto (after seeing the pictures of the actors in the box office. phwaor). im looking forward to being reunited with my beloved London once again on the 3rd of jan (Topshop wait for me!).

im AM not however, looking forward to getting back on the scales in a few weeks time nor am in any way shape or form, looking forward to going back to college, firstly because of the amount of dick heads i have to face EVERY SINGLE DAY (ohh yes, there is one particular smug looking twatface i am talking about); secondly because i havent even started my assignments yet; und THRICE, i do NOT want to do my politics exam.

I will never, unfortunetly, be inhabiting number 10. Seriously though, its not easy holding off that slight degree of pessimism.

anyway, tomorrow, some SERIOUS english work needs completing if i really want to go out for jemma's 16th. i suppose i'll be the buyer of alcohol? ohh dear god. So i'll be spending the day with Lear the insignificant, or Lear the senile or LEAR THE BLOODY BORING! ohh man. i kind of miss the english lessons me and victoria enjoy at college. especially now that we are done reading the play, some of the voices were bloody brilliant.

I am now, seriously contemplating either a) bed or b) eating MORE chocolate.

ey fatty bum bum.

a.