When God sends His angels down to Earth,
There comes a time when He must call them home.
I'm not going to lie, I am an extremely sentimental person, and the phrase 'end of an era' really chokes me up. Especially when this particular era has ended so prematurely. When I first heard of the news of Michael Jackson's death, I was drunk and in the middle of passing out on a bed in the hotel I was staying in, so at time I wasn't too concerned. In my state, I simply concluded inwardly that must've met his end in the traditional legendary form; tragically, and too early.
So obviously, you'll all now see that I've never been a huge fan of MJ as a person. I knew who Michael Jackson was when I was alot younger, but he fitted into a wide horizon of personal musical interest (he was mostly over shadowed by the likes of Keane, Lady Gaga and Adam And The Ants). I mean, I've grown up singing and dancing to hits like 'Blame It On The Boogie', 'Smooth Criminal', and 'The Way You Make Me Feel', and I will never forget watching his movie 'Moonwalker' over and over with my sister when we were little, but I'd always overlooked the man behind it all. I even remember (ashamedly) watching cartoon video's on the internet about the 2003 trials he faced and, not laughing, but finding it entertaining. The video's weren't even conveying that the allegations were true, but now, its just the whole concept. He was a shy, vulnerable human being and he was hurting.
It was the day after his death when it really made me think 'hang on, this guy really is a legend, look at all his fans!'. I had to sit in the hotel room with my mum all day, and literally, the news coverage was on every TV channel, so inbetween naps and regular visits to the vending machine, that was all i could watch. And you want to know what happened? I fell in love with him! His music; his dancing; his looks; his style; his love of children and helping people, and it all saddened me deeply. Not the fact that an extremely talented and beautiful man had died so young, but the entire 'Michael Jackson Story'.
It's not unknown that Michael Jackson suffered abuse from his father as a young child; stories that he was lonely and had few friends as a teen are also known; its been implied that he was unhappy with his image at an extremely sensitive (and for him, very public I would imagine) age; the Pepsi-Cola tragedy in 1984, where his hair set on fire; the false, and disgusting allegations made against him in '93/'05; and also questions over, well, his sanity really (the balcony+baby incident in Berlin '03). Publicly, Michael Jackson's life wasn't a walk in the park, it was nearby tragic and unusual. When he tried to reach out to make the changes and help people in the best way he knew, people beat him down, and accused him of distastful and untrue things and that is what upsets me. You literally hear the pain in his voice in certain songs (Morphine - Blood on the Dancefloor by MJ) almost like he's crying, and you can see how desperate he was to be left alone (Leave Me Alone - Bonus track on BAD by MJ). Never have I had experience of a singer whose music was so insightful to his personal life.
Such a gentle, beautiful and clever man, but such a lonely and troubled soul, who died under suspicious circumstances with a slight implication of insanity surrounding him; with some people still beleiving the lies of 1993 and 2005; and after the world and his own talent had broken him down.
The death of this truly amazing star has lead me to listen to his music, not just for utter enjoyment, but for company and comfort; a more mature and profound way of listening to music. Prominent melodies such as 'Man In The Mirror' have succeeded in making me cry about 4 or 5 times now, not because MJ passed, but because the pitch in his voice and the cosmic tunes he wrote really do tug at the heart strings. His lyrics have sent me into my own world these past couple of weeks, and inspired me to be kinder to others, to think about things deeply before acting, and to really re-evaluate my ideology on life and people, whats wrong and whats right. The fact that I myself don't have many friends doesn't seem too scary or lonely anymore, because I will have my MJ music collection (which currently tops almost 100 songs), my posters, and my original 'Thriller' record from 1983 which my Mum passed down to me, for as long as I want/need. For my new found serenity, comfort, and sense of identity I thank the man and the musician.
We'll never hear the pretty, typically 80's tune and soft, haunting lyrics of 'Human Nature' be sung by the same man who wrote the song; never glance upon those rhinestone-clad ankles as the feet beneath them Moonwalk backwards, spin and stand up on their tips; never catch a glimpse of the pointed finger of one single, gloved hand or the sway of a sequined jacket, that's what I hate about the phrase 'end of an era'. I can't stop thinking what it would've been like to have seen him tour, to have had a first hand experience of Michael Jackson. Impersonators may try (and trust me, there's LOADS!) but there will only ever be one true King Of Pop. If he was still here, we could still have a chance of re-living his glitzy legacy of the 80's, his old school style of the 90's, and his smooth R&B beats of the nouties, but we only have the video footage, and to be fair I find it deflating and sad. The cruel truth of reality and life. I now have even more reason to wish i was born before I was - 90's kids were so close to the music of the 80's (I was born just 4 years after 'BAD' was released, the same year 'Dangerous' debuted) but yet shoulder pads, New Romantics, acid-washed denim and pixie boots all seem generations away, and it has taken this 90's kid to witness the death of a legend to become a true and dedicated MJ fan.
So there you have it, why I will now always miss Michael Joseph Jackson; why I will never stop playing his songs or watching his videos; why I love him - his beautiful and insightful music, his insane dancing, for breaking down barriers for black performers, for being so gorgeous and adorable in early life, and for being passionate about helping others and being generally kind in later life - and why I mourn him, and regret not taking deeper interest in him before now. God bless...
almb.
